Sometimes I sit in my classes just sort of thinking about what I'm going to have to do as a psychologist and I begin to panic. How am I supposed to help someone else if I can't even afford to help myself? I don't have the time to go to therapy, I don't have the money to even PAY a therapist! There are some days that it gets bad enough that I have anxiety attacks in the bathroom and wonder if I'm in the right degree. I can't stand people--why would I want to pursue a career in which all I'm dealing with is people!? But even aside from the people (I can work with people, I just don't like them), I just keep thinking about my experience from this past Tuesday. An assignment for my class had us going to an evening church service for adults who fall along the Autism Spectrum. I figured I would be okay doing this considering I had a group of classmates and friends with me and I've dealt with Autistic people before. However, as the night was wearing on, I could feel my anxiety levels creeping higher and higher until finally I had to escape. I ran out of the church and had an anxiety attack to which I also called my mother to talk me down. That entire occurrence just made me wonder about my choices up to this point. I know in a clinical therapy setting I won't have to deal with 50 Autistic people at one time like I did on Tuesday, but I will still have to try to help people with things that are (in my opinion) worse than Autism! How will I be able to do that without burning out or without causing more of my own problems? Now don't get me wrong, I DON'T take other peoples problems onto me (I hate doing that and I hate it when others try to force their crap onto me instead of owning it). I just... fear that I might be doing something wrong. Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me? Psalm 119:82
Many people know Abraham Lincoln as our 16th (yes, 16th) president. What most people don't know is that he battled depression for most of his life. "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." ~Abraham Lincoln Today is generally a good day. My bunny is cuddly, my brother is home! Now, he's only staying for a few days, but he's coming home later this summer for a longer time. My foot is starting to feel better! That's always a good thing. AND. . . FIFA World Cup! Wooo! Tell me in the comments who your team is and who you think will win this year! This isn't technically a movie, per se, but a short pilot of a television series called Night Gallery. My mother suggested this one to me :) It's really good! So worth watching! I am painting again, everyone! Pictures will come soon :) It is of a silhouette like usual but hopefully this time the background turns out how I'd like it to. I'm going for a marbled background with a slight bumpy texture. Here's to painting, everyone! :D
My stuff is so sparkly again! I just cleaned all of my jewelry, guys. :)
But whatever about that stuff. On to the REAL post. I'm painting again, tonight. I received larger canvases from a wonderful friend of mine and those canvases are going to great use! I am still trying to figure out *what* exactly I'm painting--but I'm painting! :D While I paint, I'm watching a movie. What movie you ask? The Brave Little Toaster! :) It's a good one, guys, I highly suggest it. |
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