What's more! I have planted seed packet seeds as well: bachelor button, flower garden mix, and blue morning glories. They are all growing so well! They are such sturdy and strong plants, I'm so proud! I'm like a proud plant parent! (try saying that ten times fast!)
I am amazed by the littlest things: tiny, visible growth in my plants to be specific. I planted tomato seeds about 8 months ago and they are just taking off! I'm so excited that those little seeds will be producing fruit (yes, fruit ;) ) before long. What's more! I have planted seed packet seeds as well: bachelor button, flower garden mix, and blue morning glories. They are all growing so well! They are such sturdy and strong plants, I'm so proud! I'm like a proud plant parent! (try saying that ten times fast!) In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
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And the Heavens and the Earth declared the glory of God.
Go here to see the other photos in my gallery. They were not kidding when they said this at Sight and Sound this evening during the performance of Samson. It was so physically overwhelming that I even had a panic attack. But I'm okay!!
The performance this evening had me thinking about some things. For example, at Samson's father's death, Samson and his mother would have stood VERY far off because of being Nazarites for life. This meant not touching anything dead, not eating grapes or drinking wine, and for Samson, this meant not cutting his hair. There was also something else I thought of: Samson was not testing Delilah. No. Samson was testing how far he could go before God finally took his strength. You figure, he drank and his strength remained, he touched multiple dead things and his strength remained, so why wouldn't he be able to cut his hair and his strength remain?? He just wanted to go "just a little more" to test God's power and to see if God would truly hold up His end of the deal. It was said tonight that Grace is always there. It's just like hair... you can cut it off, but it will always come back. Someone suggested to me a while back that I should just "get over" my anxiety and depression. What a genius idea, correct? Well, instead of making my anxiety worse because I can't just "get over" these things, I'm going to do something new. Every day, I need to post a new "Interesting Thing." It has to be something that I've experienced in some way, whether it's hearing, sight, taste, etc. I'll do one thing a day for the first year, then two, then three, and so on until my life is just me counting my blessings. So here we go! This is the kick off! DAY ONE:I heard a car today... it sounded like the Jetsons' space car.
The book of Esther is only 10 chapters long and the name of God is not mentioned once. This is not needed! The reason being is that Esther and Mordecai are so deep in God and His Will. This does not stop from problems with persecution and prejudice, however. In the story of Esther, there was a lot of manipulation, mistrust, and a mix of bravery. Ahasuerus, the king, was very impressionable and you don't realize that until you sit down and begin to sort through the book. The exploitation of people and the manipulation of the King can be seen throughout the entire book. The first time this can be seen is verses 8 through 12 of the first chapter. The King had made a law saying that people are supposed to drink and party (even his guards and servants) and if they weren't, then they were not happy people. Now, during this partying, the king got a little drunk. When people are drunk, the alcohol inhibits rational thinking, leading to getting in trouble and doing things one regrets. This is no different for the King! He was drunk and commanded his wife--the Queen Vashti--to see him and dance for his party. Well, the king seemed to forget that the queen was hosting her own party for the women and couldn't just leave! The King took this as a refusal, however. Many people would argue that the King was right to call this a refusal. I am inclined to argue this, however. You see, the Bible never says that the Queen is the one who said she did not want to see the King. I am only speculating when I say this but I believe that the Queen never even got the message that the King wanted to see her. She wasn't stupid, if she would have known that the King wanted to see her, she would have gone, I just think she didn't even get the message. Why do I think this? Verse 12: But the queen Vash'-ti refused to come at the king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him. "By his chamberlains" indicates that it was his servants that told him that the queen said she didn't want to see him. Coincidence? I think not. I don't think the King's court really liked the queen. And here is what I mean by that... The King then called his "wise men" to him to ask what he should do and the wise men spoke to him with silver tongues, convincing him that because the Queen refused and rebelled, other women will create an uprising and begin to rebel as well. The King--given his laws on drinking--was probably still a bit drunk (or at least hungover) and basically said "Tell me more!" At this point, the wise men knew they had the situation in their control and knew this was their chance to be rid of the Queen. The spoke to him with honeyed words--"if it please the King"--making him think it was his idea, and managing to get him to create and sign a law, banishing (or beheading; the punishment is unclear) the Queen Vashti. With the queen gone, the King had the chance to get a new woman! The King's servants then whispered in his ear about how he should take a new wife of the virgins in Shushan, Persia. Of course the King thinks that this is a great idea and pulls all of the virgins (or so he thinks) into his palace. At this point, I need to make a short caveat. Verse 12 of chapter 2 says that the women were held in the House of the Women for 12 months. This was to make sure that no one was pregnant. Everyone who had heard the story or read the story of Esther knows that when the book says all of the maidens, it really means all of them! Any unmarried woman who was known as a virgin was taken to the palace. What not a lot of people realize is that not all of the women were virgins by the end. Gruesome, I know, but here is what I mean. These women? They were beautiful (Persian women and Middle Eastern women in general truly are!). Each of these women went through the ringer visiting the King. They visited him multiple times before his final decision on the new queen. Each time he cut some women out of the running. How did he do that? They were either pregnant by one of the king's servants, etc., or the king just didn't like them. (In that time, it was common for kings to "use" women as they pleased) It was entirely possible that the King did this as well before he sent the women home. By the end of the "visitation" only Esther and a handful of other girls made it! (Spoiler alert: He chooses Esther.) But how did Esther make it that far? I can only speculate about this too, however. Now, what I think happened has to do with the theme "For such a time as this." God wanted Esther to be queen. She was beautiful! So beautiful, in fact, that not only the men saw her beauty but so did the women! All of those people in the palace certainly had their chances to ruin Esther, to take her for themselves, but they didn't. Why? Esther was well liked--by everyone. God knew this and had big plans for her. Now that Esther has become queen, the manipulation and chaos only grows. Haman is the King's right hand man and can practically do what he wants whenever he wants. But remember Mordecai? He's Esther's cousin (even though he raised her as his own daughter). Mordecai saved the King's life--there is a stroke of bravery--and Mordecai is now getting special attention from the King. Well, Haman doesn't like this. But guess what? The King is drunk again (what a surprise, huh?). Haman takes advantage of this and says "Hey there, King Ahasuerus! Ol' buddy, ol' pal. You know what? The Jews are causing a really big problem. I think, of course it's your decision though, that we should just get rid of them! What do you say, Kingy?" Now remember the King has been drinking again, so the King thinks "You know what? That's a great idea!" And he gives his royal seal (a silver ring) to Haman and tells him to do what he wants! So the law is made, condemning the Jews to death. Poor Mordecai is a Jew! But wait, if Mordecai is a Jew, and Esther is his cousin, that makes Esther a Jew too! You mean the King is going to have to kill Esther!? Just wait! This is the exact reason God put Esther in this position! She was called "for such a time as this" to save her people! Mordecai goes in to Esther and tells her that she needs to go to the King and ask him to reverse the law. Of course this takes a lot of bravery, because she could be put to death if she goes to see the King and he didn't call her. If he stretches out his scepter to her, however, then she's good! Well, as God expected, the King welcomed the presence of Queen Esther. Even Esther isn't below a bit of manipulation. But poor Esther became overwhelmed and invited the King and Haman to dinner instead. This happens a second time, and this time Esther falls to the feet of the King and begs him to save her life. Of course, he is mildly confused by this, because he's been drinking (surprise, surprise). Esther explains that if Haman puts the Jews to death then she must go with them and the King becomes upset to the point of hanging Haman on his own Gallows. Such bravery from a girl who is no more than 16. There is one final hurdle, however. The King's law still stands. He can't change it once his royal seal is stamped on it. But he did create a second law, basically saying that the Jews had a right to defend themselves. In the end, the Jews won! Esther was called into a hard position for such a time as this. How many times have we experienced manipulation, mistrust, and discrimination? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe God is having you experience that for something that He is going to do not only in your life, but in the lives of countless others? I think that we should all be a bit more like Esther before the King--fully faithful in God that he will deliver us from the hands of danger and hardship. "And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14c This semester, I have the amazing privilege and honor to work along side of a wonderful woman. This woman is a dog trainer, dog foster mom, and a professor at my school. She permitted me to join her in training dogs and giving them the love they deserve. The Pet Refuge is a no kill shelter that takes in dogs that may not have gotten a second chance. Each of the dogs that we train is taught the commands sit, stay, shake, down, leave it, bed, cage, up, and heel. Some of the dogs have different collars (the colors are blue, green, purple, yellow, and red) meaning different things--I won't go into their meanings, but I'm sure you can figure them out. I would like to introduce you to some of the dogs that we work with: Meet the Dogs!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 I have been very frustrated and impatient with people around me lately and today God laid this small passage on my heart. I have not been displaying His fruit like I should be. My love for others was thrown out of the window by me and I recently could have cared less about others. Along with that, my longsuffering has basically withered and died. I'm am so impatient with everyone anymore which in turn leads to a lack of gentleness for others. And lastly, my temperance has been lackluster lately. I've been angry, hating of others. They get on my nerves and they shouldn't be. I think it's time for me to just take some time to myself and spend a few days with God.
Thank goodness God still loves me no matter what, huh? I'd be so lost if He didn't. It has recently been requested that I put a colorblind simulator on my blog. A few friends of mine think that it's really interesting that I am colorblind and were wondering what it was like. This is the simulator that I used for a project at my previous school, and I think that it represents what I see fairly well. You can use the pictures that they have on the site or you can use one of your own to pull it even more into perspective. Have fun!
I guess I should say which one represents my eyes. I have Blue Cone Monochromacy--that is, blue-yellow colorblindness.
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 Sometimes I sit in my classes just sort of thinking about what I'm going to have to do as a psychologist and I begin to panic. How am I supposed to help someone else if I can't even afford to help myself? I don't have the time to go to therapy, I don't have the money to even PAY a therapist! There are some days that it gets bad enough that I have anxiety attacks in the bathroom and wonder if I'm in the right degree. I can't stand people--why would I want to pursue a career in which all I'm dealing with is people!? But even aside from the people (I can work with people, I just don't like them), I just keep thinking about my experience from this past Tuesday. An assignment for my class had us going to an evening church service for adults who fall along the Autism Spectrum. I figured I would be okay doing this considering I had a group of classmates and friends with me and I've dealt with Autistic people before. However, as the night was wearing on, I could feel my anxiety levels creeping higher and higher until finally I had to escape. I ran out of the church and had an anxiety attack to which I also called my mother to talk me down. That entire occurrence just made me wonder about my choices up to this point. I know in a clinical therapy setting I won't have to deal with 50 Autistic people at one time like I did on Tuesday, but I will still have to try to help people with things that are (in my opinion) worse than Autism! How will I be able to do that without burning out or without causing more of my own problems? Now don't get me wrong, I DON'T take other peoples problems onto me (I hate doing that and I hate it when others try to force their crap onto me instead of owning it). I just... fear that I might be doing something wrong. Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me? Psalm 119:82 |
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